|
Saved? My marriage has been saved. It was under attack, but my fellow Kansans stepped in and made sure it would not be torn asunder. This week, Kansas became the 18th state in the Union to adopt a constitutional amendment that bans gay marriage. Specifically, it has defined marriage as being between one man and one woman, and the state may recognize no other union that would grant any of the benefits of marriage. The argument in favor of this amendment was that we had to protect the sanctity of marriage. If we didn’t do that, who knew what might happen to this hallowed institution. Seventy percent of Kansans saw this threat and took action. What I haven’t been able to understand (and still don’t) is how my marriage would be threatened if homosexuals were allowed to marry too. If my gay friends got married were they going to annul my union? Would Jennifer and I be forced to divorce? Would we have fewer rights than gay couples? “Protect marriage” the signs encouraging me to vote “yes” read. They just weren’t real clear on from what it needing protection. The problem lies in the difference in perception of what marriage is. Proponents of the measure argue that marriage is something defined and blessed by God. He created it to make perfect unions between men and women, and men and women only. I understand the logic in this argument, but it seems to me that marriage is more than an institution of the Church. God may have created marriage to create perfect unions between men and women, but the act of getting married isn’t what makes the union perfect. Perfection comes from two people working at being partners. One of my favorite photos is from our wedding day. Jennifer’s grandmother is admonishing me, “You take care of her!” and I am raising my hand with a don’t-worry look on my face and saying, “I will.” And so I have tried. I pay the bills, I do the laundry, and I read bedtime stories to our daughter. She cooks dinner and makes the money that pays our mortgage. We each have our respective jobs designed to “take care of each other.” More importantly, though, we care for each other. We listen to stories of each other’s day. We give shoulders to cry on. We discuss how to handle a problem with our daughter. We hold each other and tell each other “I love you.” If God created marriage to make perfect unions of men and women, surely this is what he intended. This is what the married life is about. And as long as we keep doing that, no constitutional amendment will protect our relationship or harm it. Marriage is something between two people. It fails or succeeds based solely on the participants’ efforts to make it work. No lawmaker, regardless of how well-intentioned, can do it for us. |
|||
