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She's Gone My mother cried the day I left for college. No doubt she thought she would miss my presence, and, of course, it was a sign that her little bird was finally leaving the nest. I have heard too of parents who cried the day their children went to school for the first time or who followed the school bus on that first day, just to make sure their little ones got where they were supposed to. Doubtless, they were stricken with grief over not having their babies around the house all the time anymore. School has started here in Kansas, and I found myself last week face to face with this same dilemma. After being with her nearly every hour over the summer, including a two-week vacation to Maine, my sweet, little girl left me to return to the daily grind of math, reading, and being forced to participate in music programs. Thank freakin’ God! It’s not that I’m not as sentimental as the next guy. In fact, I’m more sentimental than the next guy. But if that kid and I had been stuck together all day for one more day, one of us would have killed the other. Naturally, this makes me a bad parent. I should be treasuring every moment I get to spend with my darling girl. I should realize that soon she will be a teenager who wants nothing to do with me. I should remember that the day she leaves for college, causing me to cry, is not as far off as I’d like. But I just can’t. I didn’t get nearly the volume of work done I wanted over the summer. I had to yell too many times at a kid to clean her room, or to do the small amount of schoolwork I had assigned to keep her sharp over the summer, or to be nice to her mother or me. I spent more time than seemed necessary kicking her off the couch and into action. Now, I’m tired. It’s been a long summer, and I’m still recovering. Yet I am basking in the six hours of uninterrupted (for the most part) quiet I now have five days a week. I am finding time to work again, and I’m getting the house back into shape (having had to chase after a girl all summer to clean up after herself). But, as much as I feel like a rotten bastard for loving the fact that my kid is gone for 30 hours a week, I’ve noticed something else important. She and I are getting along better. We don’t argue as frequently. It doesn’t seem like quite such a chore to play with her. I look forward to seeing her more. Absence, it seems, truly does make the heart grow fonder. Herein lies the secret to any successful relationship: a little (not a lot of) distance. Getting a break from each other leads to appreciating the other person more. So maybe I’m not such a jerk after all. Maybe I’m actually a decent father at heart. Maybe. But I’m not looking forward to Christmas vacation. |
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